Wow I must REALLY be cured of blogging if it has taken me this long to finish my three part holiday update! The memories have faded but I'll try and make it sound as 'exciting' as my time with mother. Not sure if I can actually do this without giving away dodgy information that may incriminate people... (mother)...
So after two glorious nights on the see-saw/blow-up bed from hell surrounded by nightmarish 'sexy' ebay costumes I went to stay with my Nana. This was the first time I'd seen Nana in over a year and it was going to be an eyeopener because I'd hadn't seen her since she: got really sick and nearly died/was put on an oxygen tank/ had to give up smoking and got a new cat who didn't attack her.
Baby bird. Those were the first two words that I thought of. A bird who hasn't gotten all it's fur, I mean feathers yet, a bird who has fallen out of the nest (or has been pushed) and has landed on the footpath. Ouch. Apart from that and the fact she was wearing what I have called "Nana Resort Wear" (really bright shots and a singlet) she was looking pretty good. Tiny, kinda gangly and with 10 metres of plastic tube that finished just under her nose, but apart from that she was the same old Nana. Within moments I had 37 junk mail catalogues to read and marvel at. 89 cents for John West Tuna?! - that IS insane! You could totally justify driving 10 kms to buy 10 cans of the stuff at that price!
I was also introduced to Lucy Lui the new non attack kitten Nana has acquired. This is such a relief because the last one was truly psycho and would attack and bite and run up the walls and when you've got PAPER THIN and I'm talking TISSUE PAPER THIN - skin, no good can come of looking after an animal like that. And although I did think Lucy Lui was great, no matter how much I was coaxed by Nana (and Mum): "Come on, isn't she beautiful, just let her kiss you... put your nose, your face up here and she'll come along and give you a... mwaaahhhh... smooch!" I was just not down with letting a cat make out with my face.
Not too much happened at Nana's to be honest. There was lots of talking (her) and lots of listening (me). Some of this was easy and some of this was hard. Imagine you're sent to stay with a virtual prisoner who has been on solitary confinement for five years. Yes. I think you're getting the picture.
Listening also became hard when Nana insisted on visiting old wounds - I think she manages to bring this up every time I see her - the fact that when I was FIVE and we lived together, apparently I was LINDA BLAIR from The Exorcist and I used to terrorize her, TRYING TO PUSH HER OVER AND HEADBUTT her in the hallway of the house! I'm not sure how much of this is true, because I was fricking five and I can't remember, but she will not let it go. It's like she doesn't count the past decade where I have made every effort to hang out with her and visit her (even coming from interstate) - nah it's all about the time I allegedly tried to headbutt her! I was a good kid, I seriously doubt I would have done that, although the only vague memory I have of living with her was that she did annoy me as she wasn't as chilled out as my stoner parents. I don't know, perhaps I should make her an "I'm Sorry for being Linda Blair" card, perhaps then the matter would be put at rest!
It was the height of Summer so we had seven fans a-blowing, one cat a-shedding and my two lungs filled with cat fur. I actually woke up one morning convinced I was trapped inside an op shop clothing bin, it was that "hot, stuffy and Nana clothes" smelling in the spare room.
And as usual I couldn't help myself and set about snapping away with my camera at the super kitsch that fills a Nana's home. Photos on the flickr.
As much as I do like seeing my Nana and she can be a real crack up - by the end of the two days I was ready to move onto Brisbane and see old friends.
