Hardest Break-up of All

I've been thinking / talking about it for AGES.

But this will be my final official post on this blog.

4.5 Years - I have been writing every little detail of my life down...

All FIVE JOBS - dozens of workmates, the good the bad and the ugly, the creepy.

2 houses

7 housemates - life long friends, siblings and those who I'll never see again

Numerous costume parties (the L party, the brown/kitchen party, 2 Halloween parties, the kitchen-wear party, the medi-evil party, the whore house party, the new years parties, the medical party)

And anything else that spewed from my brain... mostly to do with food, 80's music, pms, food and awkward social interaction (my life)

But yeah, I think we're done, seriously though blog, it's not you, it's me.

I'm currently looking for a job (well not yet, but tomorrow I swear!) and I don't feel particularly exciting so I'll put you out of your misery - I won't kill and bury you but leave you here in a comatose state.

I've been thinking of doing a "best of blog" in the form of a Zine (ie. old school photocopied pages) but then I realized how much effort it would be to sift through the blog (which I have already done) and then edit and rewrite a lot of material (which I have half done) and to illustrate the stories and make them look interesting (also half way through that) then I came to the conclusion that I hate the sound of my own voice (typing) and it would be living in the past to publish writings by Angry Alice - who I want to get rid of (yep, totally in that self loathing, personality transplant please! mode). If I do decide to do it, Mum - I'll let you know!

So for now you can find me on the dreaded FB (why can't I quit you? Although it's the only way I keep in contact with the outside world) and I will also be updating my flickr page on a regular basis (while this current creative splurt lasts).

New flickr address: http://www.flickr.com/photos/li-kimchuah/

Peace... and SORRY to anyone I may draw and unintentionally make less attractive/anatomically incorrect.

Draw Like a Child

More drawings here....

The First Day...

Today marks my first day out of the workforce, as I head full throttle into the Pyjama Force.

I know I've been unemployed a million times before but this bout of unemployment is supposed to be different because I have chosen this. I have made a conscious decision to make it on my own, to be my own boss "at something" (yet to figure that minor detail out). Basically I'm a little lost and now living off the house deposit savings I have accumulated over the years which will never actually increase enough to be used as a deposit on a house because I can never find a stable job in the arts.

But please let me interrupt myself with some pictures before my spine pierces through the back of my own skull while I sit on what must be THE most piece of shit office chair ever to be built by under paid under aged workers in a Taiwanese office chair factory.

Ok so imagine sitting on a rickety one of these atop of one of these. Yeah - it's literally doing wonders for my posture - I think my earlobes are swelling.

So yes.... what to do with my life.... hmmmm

I will get back to you on that - Antiques Roadshow is about to start.

Post Script:

Rushed to the TV only to find Eddie and his Chins hosting "Who wants to sit in a chair to be asked questions by a smug twat, only to be given the answers excruciatingly slowly after a commercial break" - and I hate that show so I decided not to watch it or the one where you use your intellectual powers to guess which briefcase has which amount of money in it. (Number 12 you fool!)

I guess I should start 'my new life' by writing a list of what I want to do or how I'm going to do it in the meantime before I go crawling back to "the Man" for a wage that I can actually live off.

Writing is my answer / something creative* - (*you know I've always had the urge to do video art where I film myself brushing my teeth for eight hours til my gums bleed to make some powerful / meaningful statement about narcissism, consumption and masochism.) W.A.N.K Cynical Much? What is my beef with video artists? Did they kill my parents in a past life?

Yes perhaps I should start with that, adjust the attitude - be positive/nice/bathe/look more towards people than on the ground.

We will see how it goes and I might even give writing something a go. Something real. And when I say real, I mean FICTIONAL. Not a spew brain blog where I detail the office chair from hell.

Spew end.

I'm hungry.

The night I went out of the house for a few hours then freaked due to over social exposure and slept in the back of my girlfriend's car or...

Halloween Photos

... what.....

Glasses sucked.

But the rest of the costume is sorted.

The wig is bloody shallow and freaked Ben out - as in there was a LONG pause when I showed him the picture of me in it. Not a good sign I'm sure.

The white Leia robe is really a shirt and skirt because everything else I tried on was too big and looked more like a sheet/toga.

Now to just finalise my 'playgirl' magazines.

Not that anyone will know who the hell I am anyway.

The Kiwi is having trouble with her costume, as in she hasn't got one.

I am trying to get her to go 'conceptual'.

Ie. Cat Woman - dress relatively normally but cover yourself in pictures of CATS. This could also work for Bat Man (and perhaps you'd wear a moustache with this one - along with the bats).

Hopefully we'll be hit with inspiration this coming week....

No Matter What....

I WILL be wearing these this coming Halloween!

And now I'm off to find my Liz Lemon/Princess Leia costume

Wrong but I like it.

3.32 am... awake, hungry. always hungry and writing....

Hmmm as you may have been aware - although perhaps not because I failed to report it at all - I escaped "Working on The Street" (not really like it sounds) just under a month ago.


I was given a cake, a gift voucher, a big box of flowers and an over sized card with me looking like the love child of Liz Lemon and Lawrence Leung - you know the Gen X-er with mad Rubik's cube skills and his own Tv show? Yeah this guy...





The pic they used which was so frickin' big it was fucking life size:

Spot the difference...

oh yes, one is a successful comedian/writer/Tv star... the other is me!

I have no idea why they chose to steal this from my facebook, I don't even know why it's there and no I'm not posing for this photo. I can seriously fake it better than this! I'm rather doing the: "What? a photo now? No Uncle I don't think so, I'm just hanging out the in the kitchen about to ruin your Rubik's cube while stuffing as many cashews into the right side of my cheek for storage until I get home where I can dry them off and hoard them for winter".

So anyway I left work, took one week to do nothing (or rather do nothing and guilt myself about not writing a submission script- and PS. This is only my second submission script, although it seems like my 234,999,987th because I talk about doing one every other day) then the next two weeks were taken up by actually writing my submission script.

I decided to do a full one and all was going well until I realised it was short and when I say short I mean, I'd managed to turn a half hour tv show into promo. So with some more reading and a lot of filler I finally filled out the script to approximately the right amount of pages. This wasn't without the gamut of emotions that comes with writing a script of course. The stages are approximately as follows:

The: I LOVE YOU! "I'm so funny/poignant/innovative/a frickin' genius!" self love you feel for the first five minutes of writing.

Until you read what you wrote and then grab the nearest Samurai sword to melodramatically put yourself out of your worthless/unoriginal/unfunny/cliched existence.

Then you read it AGAIN and keep editing and think hmmm, it's not so bad, hey... I've read worse!

Come back ten minutes later and you're basically back to swigging a cocktail of Draino/Cool aide/Razor Blades/750ml triple caffeinated Mother Cans because you were right the second time, your writing does suck MAJOR arse.

And then you "hand the shit in" - I like to throw it in - actually THROW the paper at the person who has to mark/critique it, as it gives you a carefree, "I don't give a flying fuck. What? Oh, This? Oh no, I didn't write this script for realz! No desperation here, I don't want a job/career/the last two weeks of my life/no make that my ENTIRE life and approximately $17 thousand dollars of debt to the government to pay for my university degree to be justified by your praise! I just like did this in five minutes as I was watching selected highlights of home made Jackass on Youtube while eating five small bags of that supermarket stale tasting pre popped pop corn (last Saturday night)".

So anyway... you hand it in and although you still kind of care (blog post - exhibit A) there is also nothing you can do to save the day.... except perhaps some really great excuses which I am working on. To be honest, I don't know if the script is THAT BAD. I think it has some good points and some bad points. Some bits which I was unsure about but put in anyway at the time. I think for the most part my writing instinct is good but sometimes I second guess myself and change things and fuck them up. Or is my second guessing actually my instinct seeing though it's the last thing I do? Therefore I may try writing one draft OR write two drafts and change everything I wrote in the second draft to the exact opposite.

I seriously have NO IDEA.

Now I just have to wait until hell freezes over and my bosses have a spare millisecond to read my script. I am seriously dreading the embarrassment of having to face them after they read it.

I guess the good thing is I can always try again.

Oh. and PS. what I was about to say before I got slightly side tracked was: I'M BACK AT WORK! for another month (already have been for 2 weeks) to fill in for a co-worker! Yesss.... NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! But at least it means dollars................................................................................

....................................................................................................................................................................

I thought there may have been another advantage but I think, nup, that's it, just the dollars.

Or perhaps ANOTHER CAKE when I try and leave this job for the third time.

Halloween Costume Update.

A lack of Liz Lemon High School wigs may lead me to the following:

As I found this at spotlight.

Unsure about the whole white robe though. Don't do white! Also have to find like a 1950's Playgirl magazine... But I'm sure that's possible.